SCAMMERS SSSSSSSUCK!

BEWARE!  i posted an item for sale on craig's list.  i got a response from interested buyer.   my "is this a scammer" mind was on-guard but email exchanges seemed legit and genuine....in fact, they were down-right "nice".  once all particulars were agreed upon, the "niceties" vanished!  red flag!  but i continued on with completing transaction.  payment for this item to be made via paypal.  buyer stated "funds transferred" and "funds to be deposited into your account once a tracking number of package sent is provided and confirmed".  i thought, "hmmm!  paypal is instant transfer of funds.  what's this "no funds until tracking number provided"?  i understand the concept/idea for buyer protection but, hmmm, no!  i don't buy it!  paypal can/does release funds once tracking number provided, but the transaction should show on my account and funds marked as being "held" until tracking number provided but there was nothing!  nothing at all!  so i googled the buyer's name, address, "nigerian scams", etc....and, goodness!  what a scam it is!  i'm f*^%$in' pissed cuz i needed the $ pretty badly, but at least i still have this item in my possession.  just google "nigerian scams" - they've infested all kinds of sites - paypal, ebay, craigs list, online dating, etc etc.  they SO suck!

Sonique It Feels so Good

September - Cry for you

Emmy Rossum - Slow Me Down

Imogen Heap - Hide And Seek

WaY to Go, paraLLEL-me!

i've often heard that we all have a "twin" in this world.  another "me", male or female, would be a great!  an extra pair of hands in the kitchen is always nice!  because "i", er... should i say "i-i" ...er maybe just "we", haven't, theoretically, found this so-called twin of mine, are born under the sign of gemini, the sign of the twins, does that mean that there are four of me now...possibly?  four would be really great!  to cook for four is ideal for "i-me" and after "i-me" and "i-us" cook dinner for "i-we", then "i-they" can finish doing the dishes and clean up the kitchen so that "i-we" can sit down and play a game!  "i-we" love to play games!  what if "i-me" were, in fact, a twin?  real-life twins with a supposed other cosmic twin-selves somewhere out there in the real world.  "i-me-us" becomes "i-me-us-we".  well, if that were the case, and if my math serves me correctly, "i-me-us-we" add up to 8 and that's when "i-me" would as my real-life twin to make dinner reservations cuz "i-me" just don't have the time, space or bank account to cook for 7 ME-Other-We's!  MEOW!  ...and...WOW!  after all of that, i think it best for the world that my theoretical "i-me-us-we" be housed nice and neat here within little ole me!  JUST me! 

alas!  i digress which is easy to do because i have to deal with this "i-me-us-we" all the time.  many of us, if not all, have this "condition", or, one might simply say "chattering", of varying degree.  for me, it's a small social gathering inside my head at any given time of the day and is a state-of-mind that i've grown to embrace such that it is a state-of-BEING!  if one does not embrace their state-of-mind, then, i dare say, they would not be true to themselves and the "chatterers" within would be ignored, buried, sublimated.  and if not ignored, then maybe quite the opposite - they would "embrace" YOU causing friends and family to secretly discuss behind your back alternative options to the straight-jacket or shock-therapy! 

this morning, i gave this idea of having a twin somewhere out there, in a literal sense, some more thought.  moving into deeper, more hypothetical thoughts, questions and ideas, i fantasized about me and my twin in more cosmic or metaphysical terms of energy...for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction...a balance of yin and yang.  i thought, "ok, if i'm just waking up and it's morning, then my twin is doing the opposite.  he is just starting to fall asleep."  diving deeper into thought, i then again asked myself, "what is he, my twin, doing?  the opposite of what i'm doing...but what does that mean, exactly?"  as my brain waves begin to buzz, i entertained the thought that he was, perhaps, on the other end of "brain wave buzz"...on the verge if a deep sleep or REM or whatever.  then i thought, "well, what if he IS real and he IS experiencing the EXACT OPPOSITE or near to it that which i am experiencing?"

• i'm eating breakfast; he's eating dinner
• i feel a little chilled and turn on the heater; he's hot and taking off his coat
• i am, at this moment, in my house and by myself; i'd suppose he's out and about with a friend

• i've got a big "to-do" list for today; he's gotten things done and doesn't have a "to do" list

pretty simple, straight-forward i suppose.  soon, i began to ponder about more complicated aspects of my life versus the simplistic dichotomous relationships of "am i with someone or alone? am i at home or not?  do i feel tired or wired?" and so on.  when thinking about more faceted aspects of my life and how and in what ways my life has changed in just the past couple of years, i discovered something rather interesting and, ultimately, quite self-empowering.  what i discovered wasn't really anything that i didn't know already.  what i discovered was a different aspect of looking at that which i already knew, thereby adding a new little wrinkle to the gray-matter. 

• i'm stressed out about money; my theoretical, real-life twin, has financial freedom
• i'm at work; he's on vacation
• i'm anticipating a change of residence; he's quite settled
• i've not been working out; he's hitting the gym 3 times per week and looking great
• my SUV is dirty and needs a check-/tune-up; his BMW -sparkling clean, in perfect running order
• i've neglected relationships - his friends/family are well-informed of things happening in his life and he is an active participant in theirs
• i've not afforded new clothing - my jeans, t-shirts, shoes, etc are either worn out, old, tattered, stained, "holy"...

well, at that point, i was getting pretty upset with.my twin...wherever he is.  his life reflected the opposite of mine.  he wasn't thinking about me!  he didn't care about where i was!  he wasn't upset about anything!  no!  no!  in my mind, he had it made.  in his mind, he had it made as well but the thought of some "twin" out there (ME!) wasn't on his mind not in the slightest.  as i gave him more thought, he gave me less.  as i began to have a pity-party, he began to party it up and have a great time!  that bastard!  he has taken over the life that i used to have!  i used to have all my friends and family near me or within a short drive.  i used to be in love.  i used to have more money in the bank.  i used to have a home.  i used to have a shiny BMW.  i used to have more than enough food in the fridge and cupboards.  that son-of-a-bitch!  then i thought, "well, if that be true, what have i been doing lately in my life that i feel good about? what is it in my life that i have plenty of....no, an abundance of... such that it would, in terms of opposites, most assuredly torture this parallel-me-jerk! 

A-HA!  i've got it!"  and so i performed that exercise rather extensively because it was pay-back time for parallel-me. 

and so it took on this competitive-kind of relationship.  all my life i've been in competitions for all kinds of things.  but these competitions were me against the other piano players or singers.  it was me and my soccer team against the other team.  it was me and other neighborhood kids in a game of hide-n-seek.  it was never me against me.  i mean, i guess you could say on some level i've acknowledged the competitions with myself in that i would always strive to be better, faster, smarter, funnier, etc.  but to think about it in a way where i am competiting, literally, with another me.  parallel-me really does exist.  and parallel-me doesn't strive to achieve on his own reagardless of what it is that i am trying to achieve.  parallel-me automatically gets the opposite of what i am , what i can't do, what i don't have.  when you look at this relationship with yourself as a separate entity that is you but not you, it makes your brain go sideways and you're able to see YOU much differently.  you might say this, simply put, is taking responsibility for your life.  you might say this is a heightened level of awareness where you can detach yourself from ego and see yourself as something you either like, don't like, want to be like or not, etc.  suddenly, all the things and ways my life has changed that i'm not so fond of become not just things that are different in my life but rather things that i allowed to change in my life and those things now are enjoyed by parallel-me and all by default!  i say, "well, tough parallel-me!  you don't just get all that i used to have just by default....just because of this silly idea of yin and yang...of balance...of whatever.  forget it!  if that's the way you want to play, then...GAME ON!  if that's all it is...a balancing act then, hell, i can give it a go!"

and so what i don't have, what i've lost, what i miss, really it's all still there...my "cosmic twin" or "parallel me" has it.  so rather than saying, "life is a stage" or "i am the captain of my ship" or "carpe diem", i'm saying "i want it!  you can't have it!"  not to be mean to my twin. no, not at all.  i think there is enough "good stuff" to go around for all of us.  is there such thing as having, giving, receiving too much love?  is it wrong to feel and act overly-generous, be "selfish" to the point of filling oneself up such that giving to others is not done out of guilt or take on feelings of regret?  alas, i digress...

well, all that aside, point is i'm taking back my life as i once knew it...cuz it is my life.  my life has been blessed with so many good things and, strange to say, i almost feel "guilty" for having such an amazingly wonderful life full of so many good times, great friends, a loving family, many opportunities and experiences that have made me such a well-rounded individual...at least in terms of this world and its standards as to what that means.  would i be more "well-rounded" if i'd experienced homelessness?  a debilitating disease?  mental incapacities?  lower standard of living?  even having not experienced some of these things, i have a great sense of empathy for people less fortunate...which, who's to say, is truly "less fortunate"?  maybe they're just pleased as punch as to where they are.  we've all seen the amazing spirit of children afflicted with cancer.  they're larger than life!  they're an inspiration!  my friend, some years ago, attended CAL as a graduate student.  in his class was a parapalegic!  he didn't communicate the same way we do with all of our big, fancy words. but, according to my friend, this individual, who, 50 years ago would've been labled "inferior", "retarded", "a vegetable", "incapable" and put in a corner and mostly forgotten, was a friggin' genius!  and i think of others in society who have mental disorders, dictated by societal definitions.   like autism.  schizophrenia.  we say, "oh, no no...this person here...classic case of the cookoos!  totally schizo!"  who has the disability?  them?  why?  because they don't know how to function in "our" society?  suppose being schizoid was the norm.  would you get along well in this world as defined and created by schizoids? doubt it. as for me, i think we are all friggin' geniuses in our own way.  and should i ever take on more crazy-in-the-head characteristics akin to that which we label "paranoid schizophrenia" and the like, i won't be afraid of it but rather acknowledge it, embrace it, figure it out, deal with it, live with it, make it work for me and within the norms of social standards so that i'm not strapped up in a funny lookin white coat with lots of zippers and buckles.  but, alas, i digress again....

pEarls oF WisdoM

IRene ARANDA

“Here lies the gentle knight under stout;

Who to such height as valour got,

That, if you got mark his theeds throughout,

Death over his life triumphed not

With bringing of his death about

The world as nothing lie did trieze

For as a scarecrow in men’s eyes

He lived, and was their bugbear too;

And had the luck, with much ado,

To live a fool, and yet die wise ”

sophisticated human reasoning will be based on nothing more than the "YADA YADA" of a FOOL.  "YAD
A" is indeed a real word and not just something you heard on SEINFELD.  YADA in hebrew means "TO KNOW".  to know that you are a fool is divine.  despite our EGOS (pride, know-it-all's, power mongers, control freaks, etc) we are not the center of the universe.  illumination, nirvanah, enlightenment....whatever you want to call it, opposes the "proud" (arrogant/egoist) but gives grace to the modest, the humble, the open-minded, the adaptors, etc..  one should always be aware that everything we say, think or do is before the presence of the divine audience. 

WISDOM, "T"rue wisdom only comes thru knowledge and beauty.  it is the unseen third pillar of spiritual enlightenment, the third piece of a very simple puzzle...difficult to attain and MAINTAIN.  piece #3 makes up the "triform", the "father, son, holy ghost", the "father, mother, child", the geometrical shape we call a "triangle" which, so far as we know, is, structurally, the strongest form.  huh!  those egyptians were pretty smart. many forget that egypt was a bustling city of activity with buildings and houses much like our own today.  yet, as we see egypt today or what pictures are cunjured up in our minds when someone utters its name, are pyramids, right?  if our cities crumbled today and only those structures resembling that of the ancient pyramids of egypt (not to mention pyramids from ALL AROUND THE WORLD!), what would remain left standing?  what would remain left standing over thousands of years?  perhaps the folks of atlantis could better answer that question for us.  oh, but wait!  atlantis supposedly didn't exist...it's just a story.  a mystical, magical, mysterious metropolis that just vanished without a trace.  a place of fantasy about which plato deemed worthy of writing.  plato, i'm sure, got tired of the nitty gritty philosophical mumbo jumbo and needed a break from it all.  thus the birth of "fiction".  way to go, plato! 

in modern cultures, especially western, the more knowledge someone has, the better...especially with regard to technology...computers and the sciences which seek to control the environment for the supposed good of mankind.  many of our advancements are great to a point but it's going overboard....it's getting WAY OFF-BALANCE!  when things become so, it crumbles...it falls...it crashes.  the forces of nature are truly committed to nmaintaining this balance and there ain't nuthin' the great and all-mighty man with all of his accumulated knowledge, technological gadgetry, genetically-engineered seeds or animals can do to save him.  what's that butter commercials slogan from years ago?  "it's not nice to fool mother nature!"

many today THINK they possess wisdom but it is often shrouded in ego or fear...those who are egotistical, "i'm right, you're wrong" types, discriminate, and so on.  tollerance is a good start and the pathway which leads to a mystical, magical, mysterious metropolis called "acceptance".  unlike dorothy in the "wizard of oz", you needn't an appointment to gain access to the city.   the key to "acceptance" is within each and every one of us...NATURALLY.  that key is LOVE.  what's more, that key opens lots of other doors too. 

so, be a fool.  be a wise fool.  it is one ting to be deceived by another, but to fool yourself is the worst of all because the self becomes divided and unable to provide a unifed defense against the power of the lie which incapacitates the ability to see what is necessary in your life.  self-deception is a universal condition.  we are self-justifying creatures, prone to believe our own propaganda and wishful thinking.  we are apt to be biased in our self-examination and ready to excuse ourselves at every turn, rationalizing our behaviour and suppressing the "T"ruth about ourselves in order to quell the voice of conscience within our hearts.  when faced with an inconsistency between our behaviour and romanticized self-image, we often regard ourselves as something that we are not. worry not about what your spouse, lover, friend, neighbor does.  do your own work.  then step back and have a look.  those who overcome themselves are strong.  "i do. i undo. i re-do," is a motto of mine taken from a work of art by louise bourgeois.  the journey of the "self" includes the journey of the "other".  we NEED eachother.  we are not meant to be alone, unloved, unaccepted.  you, yourself, cannot increase in self-understanding and well-being and simultaneously remain in separated.  we are many but we are one. 

TYPES OF FOOLS:  which one are you? 

PE'TI' - the "SIMPLE ONE" - immature, easily seduced and (seemingly) unaware.

KESIL - the "DULLARD" - obstinately opinionated and slow to realization.

`EVIL - "the FOOL" - mocks "sin", doesn't care about consequences.

NAVAL - the "BOOR" -  shameless and profane

LEITZ/YALITZ - the "SCORNER" - the "worst" of all - cynically and bitterly mocks everything in the world resulting in destruction.

HAPPy mOTHeR'S DAy

"THeSe THINgS I COmmAND yOu, THAT yOu LOVe ONe ANOTHeR" -JOHN 15:17

In His Touch by Celine Dion

Forgive me, don't know where to start. I guess we've come to, the serious part. I need to find out, if there's a chance for us.  Don't give me that same old look, you won't win me over.  Don't give me that same old speech, you don't have to speak at all.  You can say you love me, that I'm your perfect crush. How it hurts to need someone that much. You can swear you mean it, but that ain't good enough.  when a man loves a woman, it is all... In His Touch. I wish you could see. Yeah... Just how simple, it's supposed to be. Coz now that we've come this far, we don't want to lose it. No.  If you wanna win my heart, baby just shut your mouth.  You can say you love me, that I'm your perfect crush. How it hurts to need someone that much.  You can swear you mean it, but that ain't good enough.  Coz when a man loves a woman, it is all... In His Touch.  Then words don't mean, that much.  You can say you love me, that I'm your perfect crush. How it hurts to need someone that much. You can swear you mean it, but that ain't good enough.  Coz when a man loves a woman, it is all... In His Touch.

Lyrics by http://www.2song.net/

Look insidE YoUr HEart

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are

There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold

You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

Lord knows

Dreams are hard to follow

But don't let anyone

Tear them away

Hold on

There will be tomorrow

In time

You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you -M. Carey

-Photographs by John Patrick Davis

DID I Tell yOu?

i've been going thru some keepsakes of mine lately and came across this card my mother gave me a few years back...my how things have changed!  this year, i turn 40!  and a "few years back" doesn't seem all that long ago, especially since i feel like i'm in my mid 20s.  but thinking about it more deeply and trying to remember specifics to a time and place rather than a simply nodding acquaintance, it truly does feel, sometimes, that i've come to this point in my life via days from numerous lifetimes ago.

DID I Tell yOu?
-ELiZaBeth knapp

for all who have wondered...
did i tell you?

now that you are
almost grown, i look back
and ask myself
     did i tell you?
did i tell you all that i
meant to tell you, all that
i felt was important.
did i tell you or was it
lost in the shuffle of our
everyday lives.  the busy
full days when we taught
and didn't know it.
did we teach?  was
it strong?  was it good?
will it root you in something
real that will allow you
to grow with a firm and
sound foundation?
     did i tell you...

did i tell you

to love, not with
a fair weather
love, but with a
love that accepts
and cherishes
unconditionally.
love not with a
quick and passing
love, but with a
love that is a
quiet peace within
your heart.

did i tell you
to be thoughtful.
not to be a martyr
or doormat to be
trod upon,
but to
be aware of other
people and their
needs.  to meet others
with awareness and
within your own
framework be able to
meet them half way
and on occasion
go the other half
joyfully.

did i tell you
to be courteous.
not to display
empty maners
with no meaning
but to live the
courtesy born of
caring.  and to
express this caring
through the small
formalities and
customs born of
the years.
did i tell you to be bold.
to be not afraid of the
unknown, but to live life
to the fullest and meet
each new experience with
joy and anticipation.
and did i tell you to be
be cautious.  to temper your
daring and sense of adventure
with good judgment and
consideration.

did i tell you
to serve other
people if only
in a small way.
there is growth and
satisfaction in being
part of something
larger than yourself
and your life will be
richer for knowing this

did i tell you to maintain a
sense of the past.  to recall
and uphold all that is best
and meaningful in our country
and in our society.  but
never be afraid to speak out
where you don't believe or
where there is room for
imporvement.  work for what
you believe, but work in a
positive way within a
structure of order and reason.
did i tell you
to find a part
of nature that
speaks to you
then know it
intimately and
well.  for some
it is a mountain peak,
for some
a windswept beach. 
find your
own and in it
find your restoration.

did i tell
you to laugh,
to dance, to
sing.
there is a
lot in life that
is hard, but
take it as it
comes and find
the good...
and make
time to dance.

did i tell you
to be creative
to explore the
seed within you.
find your creative spirit
and let it grow.

and did i tell you the
challenge of being a man-
the challenge of balancing
your worlds-
the need to achieve and
the need to nurture-
the need to be strong and
the need to be tender-
the need to meed the tests
that life brings yet always
keep love at the center-
letting it be the star by
which you set your sail.

did i tell you
these things as
we went along
the way?
if i did i am
humbly grateful.
if i did not then you
must choose for yourself.
if it has meaning, accept
it and make it your
own.  if it does not,
discard it.  your life is
yours to build as you
choose.

and did i tell you...
i hope it will be a good life

roMancE oF thE rose

"when i to you

of those things spake,

'twas with the view

of showing briefly what

i meant in parable,

thereto was bent

my reasoning. 

whoso'er should

see the words of

scripture literally,

ere long would pierce

the sense obscure

that lies beneath

their coverture. 

uplift the veil

that hideth truth,

and bright it flashes

forth forsooth. this shalt

thou find if thou rehearse

the noble stories writ

in verse by ancient poets. 

great delight will flood

thy soul if thou aright

dost read, for thou shalt

see unrolled secret

philosophy of old,

profiting thou amused

shalt be, and thine

amusement porofit thee,

for oft their quip

and crank and fable

is wondrous good

and profitable,

and much deep

subtle thought they hide

'neath veils torn easily asunder."

Awesome new menu at BAYWOLF RESTAURANT in Piedmont (Oakland)! Mention this post along with purchase of 1 regular priced entree & get a free dessert! 5106556004

is anybody GETTING this yet? facebook,twitter,social networking, nostalgia, love, organics, nanotechnology, NASA, etc etc... anyone? anyone? bueller? anyone?

"insolent, thrice-damned whelpings! abandon ye pursuites most frivolous and readeth ye olde schoole!" -hazlitt

The Future of Publishing

The Future of Publishing - created by DK (UK): "

I favorited a YouTube video: This video was prepared by the UK branch of Dorling Kindersley Books. Originally meant solely for a DK sales conference, the video was such a hit internally that it is now being shared externally. We hope you enjoy it (and make sure you watch it up to at least the halfway point, there's a surprise!).

Read an interview with the creator of the video on the Penguin Blog: http://bit.ly/futureofpublishing

http://us.penguingroup.com

the "GREAT STATE" (U.S.?) ... of Texas...

...clearly....CLEARLY(!)...has its proverbial HEAD UP ITS TEX-ASS!


Texas Removes Thomas Jefferson From Teaching Standard - AOL News


i'm sorry....ummm....WHAT?


ok, so it's not the ENTIRE state of texas and all of its inhabitants. it's the SCHOOL BOARD....well, ok...t'was 10 members of the board that voted,

and kicked up their spurs and STRUCK THOMAS JEFFERSON down and out of the standard history teaching materials for public schools throughout the "LONE STAR" state. and when i say "LONE STAR" state, i'm not referring to its historical state motto. oh no! just as they have, more or less, "changed" history as it relates to the OH SO ANTIQUATED teachings of TJ, i hereby declare that the great state, should its citizens not over-turn this disastrous decision, truly live up to my new definition thereof.  i needn't define it for ya'll...purdy clear, i reckon.  ("disastrous"...too harsh?  hmmmm...time will tell....tick tock...oop!  times out!  you lose!) 

since the board is on a "history-rewrite" roll, not to mention their lexiconic censorship sporting the finest euphemistic outter-wear (faux fur, "naturally"), so as not to subjugate their, hopefully, "free-thinking" young, to any negative connotation, let's help them out a bit, shall we? cuz, gosh! there's a lot of negative, un-PC shit out there. (oops! shit!  damn!  i did it again....WHERE'S MY CENSOR?)

"Political Correctness Pervades History Books" - Rrichard Fournier, Veterans of Foreign Wars of the United States
"Rewriting History" - PRI's The World
"Texas: Thomas Aquinas to replace Thomas Jefferson in Enlightenment carriculum" - Kate Shellnutt, Houston Belief

8/13/1786  Thomas Jefferson to George Wyeth
http://www.monticello.org/library/index.html

"I think by far the most important bill in our whole code is that for the diffusion of knowledge among the people. No other sure foundation can be devised, for the preservation of freedom and happiness...Preach, my dear Sir, a crusade against ignorance; establish & improve the law for educating the common people. Let our countrymen know that the people alone can protect us against these evils [tyranny, oppression, etc.] and that the tax which will be paid for this purpose is not more than the thousandth part of what will be paid to kings, priests and nobles who will rise up among us if we leave the people in ignorance."   

i got a little derailed from original intent, but seeing how it's getting late, i'll sum it up here with the following song and video, "We didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.  So much American History to rewrite...some 234 years worth!  i for one, am glad that these board of education bafoons don't have their tyrranical strong-arm in the mix education in such places in the world with 10x the history and 1000x the greatness of men who are still remembered, revered and respected for who and what they were and what they represented and accomplished. 

A mANICuRIST'S wORST NIgHTmARe?

hAVe yOu?

Love Takes A Bow

My very essence, most centered core


does where grows a love


and with it, so too great beauty.

My Love sets both into motion.

Spinning, dancing, a ballet divine.

Finale nearing, the curtain drops,


heavenly bliss, my soul entwined.

Standing, leaping, it floats away.

I cannot help it, my soul must rise.

Turning 'round, looking down



from Zenith it shouts,

"Encore! ENCORE!!"'



-JOhn PatRiCk DaviS