Avocados are yummy! I said, THEY'RE YUMMY!!! Picking one out that is perfectly ripened is key!!! Of course when IN SEASON, it's easy. But I rekon they're "in season" somewhere in the world shipped directly to you for your pleasure. And you'll know they ain't "local" or "in season" (No, Nelson! Shotguns are NOT required for procurement of these varied creatures! "In season" is just a saying!) if they cost ya $2.50 per! True, you can get them year-round but you'll see an abundance of them at cheaper prices from April to September. A perfectly ripened avocado will have JUST a bit of give when you gently (I said, GENTLY!!!) squeeze it. Avoid those with broken or shriveled skins, those that are hard as a rock (unless you've time to ripen them at home) or those whose stem looks black or even moldy. You see or maybe you are one of those (annoying) avocado connoisseurs at the store that really gives a nice strong squeeze to each and every one. Sure, I like to squeeze a number of "specimens" too, but for pete's sake, not so hard! You can tell almost immediately if you're going to find a keeper or two in the lot or not. Say the first 5 you pick up practically give way when you simply touch it, they'll all probably be too soft. I MIGHT buy too soft of avocados IF I'm making my WORLD FAMOUS "salsa" (recipe follows) or if my sister Char simply must have it (it's hightly addictive! I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY!) but certainly never if using them straight-up as a garnish or in my equally WORLD FAMOUS salad of said fruit, mango, Spanish smoked paprika (PIMENTON) dusted and grilled pineapple with cilantro and cumin vinaigrette (recipe does NOT follow but will gladly provide upon request!) Otherwise, forget about it! They're too soft and probably too small and cost too darn much! So, make a mental note and shift gears: aisle #9 - bean dip and fritos. Conversely, if the first 5 you pickup are as hard as your noggin, forget about it. Like I said, harder ones are fine if you have time to let them ripen but I (almost) never buy hard ones. What's more, if you're thinking, "MMMMMM! Nice and soft! Perfect for guac!" Guess again! You never know what you're going to get in a soft avocado. Much of the time, those will be more rotten inside than anything else. POOF! $2.50 per overly-ripened avocados down the drain! Again, I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY!
Below is my recipe for avacado-tomatillo "salsa" or dip. I call this "salsa" because dips are, well...hmm...dips. But THIS, my vitamin A, C, E and anti-oxidant seeking friends, is so much more! I'd call it "heaven" if I could, but that just doesn't sound right either. For me, this is better than the usual guacamole that everyone and their mother makes. It's tangier, "brighter", fresher and won't brown on you (oxidize) before the whistle blows at half-time Super Bowl Sunday. And, while I'm here, let me just briefly say something about that unwanted discoloration: placing the avocado pit in your guacamole-dippy-salsa concoction does not (I said, DOES NOT!) keep it from turning brown. Someone started that rumor sometime back in 1984 and they had a good run but I'm here to tell ya....it's crap! I said, IT'S CRAP! Moving on....
AVOCADO-TOMATILLO SALSA - yield: SOME
1/2 medium red onion, small dice
1/2 to 1 whole jalapeno, seeded and minced
2 perfectly ripened avocados, halved, pitted and diced right in the avocado skin
3-5 medium tomatillos, small dice
1/2 bunch fresh cilantro, chopped
juice from 1/2 to 1 whole lime, to taste
Kosher salt, to taste
1 T olive oil to enrichen flavor, "slicker" it up and give it a sheen (Ca-Cah!)
Serve with tortilla chips or use as garnish on tacos, burritos, tortilla soup or wherever you like!
CHEF'S TIPS:
- Place diced red onion in medium bowl and sprinkle with a bit of Kosher salt....about a teaspoon. Let this macerate for about 5-10 minutes. The salt will leech out much of liquid in the onions that give it such a strong and astringent flavor. Pour off this little bit of liquid and place the onions in your hand and squeeze out the remainder of the liquid and place onion back into bowl with the remaining ingredients.
- Once I've halved the avocados and have discarded those useless pits, I just turn my chef's knife over and use the dull (I said, DULL!), TOP-SIDE (I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY!) to dice the avocado while still in the skin. Cut vertically and horizontally four or five times thereby cubing it in the skin, then just squeeze it out into the bowl. (This is the proper time to SQUEEZE those avos!) Et, voila! Simple, neat, efficient and your hands are clean and not all "ookey". But hey, if you like "ookey", be "ookey". While you're at it, put some "ookey" in your hair....it's good for it.
- Some of you might be thinking, "What on earth is a tomatillo? If you don't know, I'll let you venture out from under your rock to explore and discover that on your own. Others might be thinking, "Why would you ruin your guac with those weird things that resemble unripened tomatoes?" Two reasons: One, ....oh, let's make that three reasons!
- REASON ONE: this is not a recipe for guacamole. I said, IT'S NOT GUAC! I mean, what is it? People see smushed up avocados in a bowl and think, "GUACAMOLE!" Which leads to
- REASON TWO: if not used then it's not "salsa". The concoction becomes dip...and dips are for dips, DIP! However, when people see it they'll STILL think, "GUACAMOLE!" I'm counting on you to educate them!
- THREE: I'M SAVING YOU TONS OF MONEY! Think about it: people love guacamole, it looks like guacamole, it tastes like guacamole....but...BUT (!) it tastes better and at half the cost since not as many avocados are required to give the same yield as your mother's guacamole recipe. Plus, you get to sound like a "foodie" and educate your peers about tomatillos and the difference between dips and salsas, demystify oxidation properties surrounding the avocado pit, and fascinate everyone with this factoid:
http://http//www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/01/21/superbowl/main537368.shtml
The salsa should have a nice balance of spice, acid (lime juice) and salt. Your guests will gobble it up and guaranteed none of it will be left for half-time snacking! ENJOY!
"May your lives be as beautiful as the food you eat!"